Drew Linky
1st of December
The AMA was slated to happen today, and it was far beyond what any of us were really hoping for. We were simply sitting around waiting for it to start. I’m not sure where I heard that it would begin at 2 PM, but it started instead at 1:30 PM. This was not a big deal, as we were still prepared by that time to ask our questions. Our preparedness came in handy, and most people in the HSD got their questions answered, although a choice few like Olki ended up getting passed by for some reason. KC had some actually very informative responses, and Dril of course was shitposting the entire time but all of his answers were gold as usual. I think Dril ended up responding for a very respectable amount of time.
At the same time, an unexpected development arose. Someone named horse_enjoyer ended up responding to some questions, beginning with one that Makin asked pertaining to Hussie’s degree of involvement with the project. People immediately seized upon this as Hussie posting, and the same account later verified that he was in fact Andrew Hussie. This only served to intensify the energy until the room was essentially in a furor.
It was naturally very exciting to have Hussie responding, although I and the rest of the mod team were concerned about how people would react. Hussie’s involvement in the fandom has been slim to none recently, and Makin especially feared that people bumrushing him in this AMA would lead to a more serious withdrawal than the one we’ve been experiencing for years now. We attempted to avoid drawing attention to his involvement, and Makin even froze mspa-lit for a few minutes to get people to stop talking about it.
Despite this, it seems as if Hussie was more or less eager to involve himself in the AMA and dealt with a few other questions admirably. He responded to Hb, Carlarc, Gitaxian, and Griever separately, although the majority of these responses were simply for purposes of humor.
We were also concerned because technically speaking this AMA is for KC Green and Dril, not for Hussie. Any involvement on his part is excellent and we are more than happy to point it out, but we didn’t want it to seem like people don’t actually care for Green and Dril. Their involvement on the SBAHJ book is important, and there was distinct worry that Hussie’s presence would considerably overshadow them. At one point Tipsy even posted a link to the AMA on her blog with a direct call to the fact that Hussie was posting in the thread too.
In spite of this, it feels like the AMA was spread rather well. Hussie only answered about five questions, if that, whereas Green and Dril both answered an incredible number each. The attention, I think it’s safe to say, was all on those advertised. Thus, we were pleased with how it went, and there is a distinct feeling of happiness surrounding the AMA. Makin commented while it was still going on, striking a distinct note of satisfaction and even excitement: “is the homestuck fandom actually coming back[?]”1. I think many others, including myself, felt this way at least in part. It was an extremely exciting time for us.
It’s important to note something: while it appeared relatively minor, Hussie’s response to Carlarc yielded a crucial nugget of information to us. The future of his projects are uncertain at best, and despite the recent updates and even the book coming out there was considerable concern or at least curiosity about what would happen to the website-hosted SBAHJ, its original form. Hussie’s answer to Carlarc stated that, in no uncertain terms, SBAHJ would experience more updates in the future. This is extremely heartening for those of us who enjoy the serial, and we look forward to what it is he will produce.
Everything lately has been so positive for us. The sentiment I expressed at the end of the entry on the 28th of November is alive and well among the community, at least for now. I almost worry about some sort of negative event in the future that will counter all of this in full and then some, but such concerns are not really worthwhile to assume until something has actually happened. As it is, the last few days have been incredible for us, and I hope that the trend will only remain upward as time goes by.
Nothing more for today.
3rd of December
The Music Team interviews are winding down, and thoughts are turning to other facets of the community that I can tackle. I was given some rather great ideas today by various people, which involved interviewing some other content creators like people who make fanventures. Griever and Jojostuck is an excellent example, and then Austinado is in charge of a project called Vast Error, a deconstruction of the type of story that’s usually portrayed in fanventures. There are a myriad of others who would be available to interview, as many people as there are fanventures if not more.
The onlyproblem for me that I can see with this is that if any discussion of the fanventures themselves happen, it’ll become too esoteric for the purposes of this journal. However, there is probably an incredible array of more generalized information available as well. I’m sure that talking to enough people on the topic would be enough to give me a timeline of fanventures (starting on the forums and eventually ending up on MSPFA), and to inform me of what the more famous stories are both in a modern context and then historically. I’m not sure if any of the information presented will be new to members of the fandom, exactly, but I guess that’s not strictly the point. Rather, it will help to keep it as informative as possible for people who may not have any exposure to this topic previously.
There are a few other figures in the community that it’s been suggested I interview, most notably among them o of CANWC fame and Gankro. I’ve actually already completed an interview with the former, which I will elucidate on shortly. As for the latter, Gankro is the name of the coder who was behind some of the more interesting pages of Homestuck. He made a number of games for the comic, further playing into the feeling of it as a multimedia work. These games are few and far between, but their importance in contributing to the overall popularity of Homestuck is not to be underestimated. Despite this, much like the Music Team I feel as if Gankro is a relatively little-celebrated member of it all, so I feel determined to seek him out and gain his input on matters.
As for o, he responded in a frank and forthright manner after I messaged him today. The interview was surreal and I wasn’t even strictly sure what to ask him about; to this end I recruited the entirety of mspa-lit to give me a list of questions to provide, which everyone was more than happy to do. Given the nature of CANWC and especially o’s general demeanor, the tone of these questions were more often than not fairly silly. This is all in good keeping though: o is famous for generally refusing to break character, even in bouts of private correspondence (as with my interview) or when posting publically. There is purportedly one occasion where o has broken character, but I’m not exactly privy to the details of this incident, nor are they particularly relevant to this ordeal as a whole.
True to form, when I interviewed o he remained in character the entire time. He writes from the perspective of someone within the narrative of Cool and New Webcomic, speaking in broken English and using a healthy number of grotesque emojis to convey his points on occasion. He also claims that CANWC is a completely true story and that, rather than inventing the tale, he has been charged with writing down details of a story that already happened and are real. I believe the denizens of mspa-lit kept this in mind when formulating their questions, as you must find a way to ask him things in a way that doesn’t require breaking character. The questions we brainstormed did manage to wrangle some answers out of the mysterious fellow, but without compromising the integrity of his persona. In this way, I would call the interview a distinct success.
As I mentioned, most of the questions were utterly silly, such as asking what o’s favorite ship is, or what kinds of video games he plays (both responded to with his signature humor). However, there were some important nuggets tucked away in the general silliness. Something I was happy to hear is that o’s collaboration with CANMT has been an extremely positive experience for him, and he wishes he could incorporate more of their music into the story; there are a lot of excellent tracks that have been produced by CANMT which he unfortunately doesn’t have time to animate, otherwise he absolutely would.
More generally speaking he has been pleasantly surprised by CANWC’s reception by the community at large, and he says it drives him to keep writing. I also asked whether he believes he’ll actually be able to finish his epic saga, to which he replied that we’re not even halfway done yet, but he has already plotted out the rest of the story to some degree. All of these answers are genuinely exciting for people who follow his work, and the response when I shared them with everyone in the HSD was beyond positive.
I think it’s hard to overstate the appreciation that people in our community have for o, and his influence since June of last year is extremely noticeable if you look in the right places. CANMT in particular owes their existence to him; there’s no way to tell exactly how many people he’s inspired with his unique style, but there is no denying that his standing in the community as a whole is an impressive one. If one is interested in reading the transcript of the conversation I had with o, it can be found in Appendix C under “Cool and New Web Comic Interview.”
More pertinent to the HSD, today we gained some information about the Viz Media books—installment three was revealed to us, which included some art and commentary. This was initially exciting, and such information is usually enough for Makin to decree an official post on the matter, which I prepared summarily. However, once people began to look further into it the most noticeable thing for most was that some of the commentary was in fact old, appearing in the physical books that were released years ago.
This naturally garnered some rather intense ire. The responses of people across the subreddit and the HSD swiftly turned from receptive to nothing short of peeved. This was compounded with some aesthetic choices that people were less than pleased with, which I won’t go into detail about here. However, after a closer look people realized that there was new commentary, as well as old.
This raises an interesting question: will Hussie include both in these new releases? That would be extremely useful for people interested in archival, like myself, who didn’t have access to the original books for whatever reason, also like myself. I’m curious to see what comes of this, but the exact extent of this will have to wait to be seen until the books are actually released. It’s possible that the samples we’re seeing may not be representative of the final product, or that not all of the old commentary will be included. Or a plethora of other possible outcomes, there’s no real way to know yet.
One particularly disturbing note to me was a dash from the introduction that was leaked to us, itself being new. In it, Hussie describes the comic as “being completed” on the 13th of April, 2016. I’ve mentioned before that there is serious hope that we’ll receive an epilogue of some sort, but with this those hopes feel prematurely done away with. Is what we’ve been given truly it? Will there be no satisfying resolution to the tale?
Problem Sleuth’s own epilogue tied together numerous elements that left readers disgruntled—I had naturally assumed that Homestuck would have its own form of these events. At this point, I have no idea how likely that outcome is. By all means it seems as if Hussie has no plans to give the comic such an end. If this is the case, then I hate to imagine the bitterness that people may feel for the story as more time goes by.
Time will tell. Nothing more for today.
4th of December
Today was quite pleasant. Nothing out of the ordinary happened—on the contrary, this day was virtually devoid of any sort of substantive event. Rather, the source of satisfaction today came from simple association. Everyone seemed engaged with each other, talking for hours; I was happy to be able to participate extensively this time, and made full use of the evening.
I’ve actually been rereading Homestuck for some time now. When I first read it, it took me about two or three weeks to read because I dedicated an unhealthy amount of my time to the activity. This current read is actually somewhere near my 10th time, and alongside with the fact that I have a lot on my plate I’ve slowed down considerably—it’s taken me on the order of a couple of months to get to the end once more.
The last chapters are arguably the most controversial section writing-wise; while the exact details of their construction are debated frequently, there is a common consensus that the quality of the story deteriorates noticeably as it gets close to the end. With this observation comes an anti-parallel increase in the amount of debate: the worse the apparent quality of the comic, the more fiercely it is discussed.
At least, this is what it was like historically speaking. I think that as time has gone by, the fires have cooled somewhat. I reached the controversial sections in question last night, and began liveblogging my response to them. Liveblogging Homestuck is an activity that’s enjoyed by almost everyone for obvious reasons. Even liveblogs of rereads are more or less welcome—the metric for how acceptable liveblogging is concerns the quality of the observations, rather than the novelty of the material being reviewed.
This is important to note because as I got closer to the end, my liveblogging picked up steam and, naturally, kickstarted more discussion about all of the various factors involved. This is pretty typical, but for some reason there’s a certain magic to it—without fail, discussion can sustain itself for hours if someone brings up the end of the comic. It’s never as hostile as it used to be, if one may call it that, but there is still a definite solidness to the things people say. It’s polarizing, and I think people being pitted against each other drives the group at least somewhat. Too much of it is bad obviously, but a little rivalry goes a long way.
On an aside, I think there’s an important factor to all of this as well. The last time I bothered to read Homestuck through was in preparation for the end, a pattern that was true of many others as well I’m sure. After it ended, I don’t think anyone felt up to reading it again for quite some time. My own reread was colored by a distinct exhaustion at points, and for a long time I thought I would never make it to the end because it was hard to grapple with the reality that the end is unsatisfying. All of this is to say that I don’t know of many people who have read the comic to completion after its end, aside from people reading it for the first time. In this way, we make a distinction between “serial readers”, who were around for the update cycle, and “archival readers”, who are reading the comic now that it’s largely over and done with.
To my knowledge, no one who ended the comic as a serial reader has yet bothered to reread the comic in its entirety afterwards as an archival reader, at least in our circle. If this is the case, then I may be the first. I have to assume that there is at least one person who has already done this, but I have no idea who they could be. This puts me or whoever commits to this in a unique position as having experienced the end both serially and archivally. There has long been speculation that the later portions of the comic may be more enjoyable as an archived experience, but aside from the word of people who read the comic after it was already over there is little that can be done to examine this.
With this in mind, I was quite excited to finish the comic because it meant I could contribute to this body of knowledge. I still sharply remember how I felt at the time, with the serial experience of Homestuck coming to a close. It’s been relatively easy to compare and contrast my feelings then to now, and that is why I’ve been liveblogging the occasion so extensively.
In accordance with what I described earlier, this sparked an incredible bout of discussion that did indeed last for a considerable length of time. Also as expected, instead of ceaseless discourse that succeeds in being agonizing to everyone, the discussion was pretty respectable and enjoyable. Everyone’s opinions of the end are still fresh in their memory, and it was fun to hash out the conversation even if we’ve had it a hundred times already. This continued unabated for at least a couple of hours, but then as is natural of talk that lasts for so long we began discussing some other, related topics.
With Makin’s tendency to shill literature, there comes a habit of talking about the nature of entertainment. This is one of my more favorite topics, as it strikes at the very heart of why we enjoy things. Understandably this is also one of those conversations that can become excessively heated—people may run up against a barrier where their beliefs are impenetrable to each other, and that can either lead to a dead conversation or raging discourse if handled inadequately.
There’s a facet of this discussion I’ve had with Toast once or twice before, and I think Makin as well. It concerns the nature of narrative, and how the art of storytelling works. I can’t really do justice to this conversation, as I couldn’t describe Toast’s viewpoint on this matter without seriously misrepresenting it probably—it would also take up too much time for me to describe my own position, so I’ll refrain.
Suffice to say that we both believe differently about what makes something enjoyable or “good” in as objective a sense as possible. The last time we had this discussion it petered out into “let’s agree to disagree”. This time, however, it escalated. There was talk about the nature of writing in an objective and subjective manner—the exact context is not important I suppose, but it culminated in Toast saying: “objective subjective opinions are subjective opinions that are objective in that they are widely accepted enough to become subjectively objective”. Whether sarcastic or sincere, accurate or no, this comment functioned as a signal to everyone involved that the night was officially off the rails and had entered new territory. From here, all bets were off.
What had been a pleasant and amiable discussion turned into a highly amusing fracous. There were people on the sidelines who, content simply to throw their opinion in every once in a while, were now leaping into the conversation and amplifying the already considerable energy with their own contributions. Even if they weren’t enjoying it quite as much as I was, people began creating their own pictures to make fun of Toast with, and other people as well (this activity usually being a sign that something remarkable or noteworthy has occurred). There was no chance for rest—only the ability to increase the den of noise and hilarity. I don’t know what the secret is to unlocking these sorts of conversations, and it’s highly likely that if I did I would abuse it, but they are immensely enjoyable to me. The conversation itself wasn’t even of anything particularly obtuse or strange, it was simply the energy associated with it that was so great. Everyone was enjoying themselves, posting both helpful or constructive ideas while doing so in the silliest and most outlandish ways.
My enjoyment of it is such that I may even misrepresent the occasion. I feel like I paint a picture of absolute chaos, which is only vaguely true. The reality of it is hard to describe—not even overtly manic, the sheer feeling of participation and togetherness was incredibly gratifying. All I know is that it is extremely pleasing to me when the night turns to these conversations, almost of barely-bridled energy and camaraderie. My appreciation for the people involved is intensified many-fold when this happens, and on top of the already-impressive wave of good feelings that have come for us in the last week or so this was a boon I couldn’t have dared wish for.
It really is almost too much to ask for, honestly. When these sorts of conversations happen, my contentment and satisfaction with the people I’m privileged to call my friends deepens even further. There is an incredible peace of mind that has stolen over me in the wake of this event; it would be difficult for me to overstate just how much I appreciate them all. It is my only regret that these sorts of conversations appear to be happening with decreasing frequency as time goes by, an observation that fueled my previous hesitancy and paranoia some weeks ago.
Amusing on its own is the idea that, were someone to be dropped into the fray at random with no prior experience or understanding of what we are, they would almost certainly not enjoy it. It’s almost certainly irrational but part of me derives some satisfaction out of the idea that we’re a self-contained unit of culture. There is a distinct history to us, and although people may be able to overcome it if they try hard enough (indeed, an outcome that we desire), we still have a formidable barrier of entry.
That idea in particular is somber to consider; the esoteric nature of our merry band may prove to be our undoing as time goes by. Even now, the “group” that is mspa-lit is almost completely unrecognizable from how it was this time last year, I believe. I still wasn’t terribly familiar with the place so I can’t say for sure, but I believe I recall a mishmash of different people who are all gone now. I wonder if this will prove true next year as well?
What seems likely to me is that, as time goes by, people will fall away for whatever reason, until eventually our cultural bubble is so destabilized that it has no choice but to pop. At that point, with no effective barrier, new people will join in and start participating. While we will almost certainly retain a number of people from before, the cultural landscape will have changed enough that it will assume its own distinct identity. These may be identified as “generations”, if you will.
I have no idea if this will actually be the case, or if it is then how long it will take. I may actually be full of shit, it’s hard to say from this current perspective. The optimal outcome, from what I can see, is that we take on new people to keep the energy flowing and assimilate them into the existing culture (while also adopting any positive characteristics). Whether it will work out in this fashion is basically impossible to determine for now, but one can hope. Whatever the case, I just want to see this community thrive and develop for as long as humanly possible. The future is murky, but we may yet come out the other side, stronger as a community, for whatever mysteries lie ahead.
Nothing more for today.
5th of December
There hasn’t been a lot to discuss today; more a small event concerning altgen, where there were people complaining about some supposed rule or another. The way this usually works by now is TS or Molly ping me and let me know something fucked is happening and I have to go check it out. I’m usually pretty fine with this arrangement, because it motivates me to pop in regularly and mess with people until they regret having to involve me.
However, life has been fairly busy recently so this is not the most enjoyable task to be faced with. It’s important to note also the frequency at which this occurs; as often as several times a week I’ll have to step in and break up an unnecessary fight or eradicate some poor child for being an idiot. This brand of distraction is amusing when the time is right but is otherwise a serious annoyance, and my agitation begins to shine through after enough of these incidents occur.
A slow progression over time, it rapidly becomes more noticeable once my patience begins wearing down. I like to think I’m usually fairly amiable, even when it comes to altgen, but my responses may become short and significantly more terse. I begin to hand out joke punishments with reckless abandon, or if I’m particularly agitated then I may begin to actually punish them (not undeservedly, but still). I think that the more astute regulars have begun to recognize these symptoms, and depending on the nature of their agenda they seek to mitigate or exacerbate them. The results vary considerably based on who and what is involved.
Today’s disturbance was less on the scale of “monstrous fuck up” and more just “mild annoyance”. A prevalent in-joke is the use of cropped pornography as avatars, a practice that (while not strictly encouraged) is currently allowed. This has been the source of contention before for obvious reasons, but the prevalent attitude is that it doesn’t actually constitute as NSFW because nothing risqué can actually be seen. Despite this, people manage to cock it up somehow; there were apparently people posting today with these avatars, or posting the images outright, that were over the line. I never got to see this myself, but I was summarily pinged by TS to come handle it.
Once I arrived, I was greeted by a clusterfuck of disappointing proportions. No one actually knew what had been posted, so with a heavy heart I started questioning people to see if they knew anything. I did this for about five minutes before I became fed up with the little shits, and at that point I made a generally declarative statement that cropped porn would be disallowed if people kept abusing it. This was when people came out of the woodwork and said that no one had actually abused the rule in the first place, a response I did not expect to see and was intensely confused by. It turns out that a choice few individuals, who I am still not totally privy to, were trying to “mini-mod” the place and institute their own rules on what counted as acceptable imagery.
After a disdainful few minutes of silence I finally put out yet another statement that discouraged this, but I didn’t have the energy to pursue it further. I haven’t heard another peep since, so I’m hoping the nonsense is done for now. After having a few hours to consider this, it is all vaguely more amusing than I remember thinking at the time. For all the complaining I can do about this, it’s important to realize that the capacity for petty idiocy is just within altgen’s nature at this point; the thought is comforting enough to convert their foolishness into a cheap source of entertainment, if nothing else.
Nothing more for today.
7th of December
Today there was some rather intense discourse about splinter servers, which we actually haven’t had in a while. I had thought that this particular discussion was over and done with, but I suppose I underestimated the lack of understanding that surrounds the topic. A lot of people don’t even know what strictly qualifies as a “splinter server”, probably not even me. Anything that most people approach only a nebulous understanding of is, by nature, going to generate a lot more discourse. In this way, LLF began the discussion because he wanted clarification as to what they are.
After multiple people attempted to provide definitions according to their understanding, the conversation naturally mutated into something far less innocent; there was additional confusion around the distinction between a true splinter server and a simple “personal server”, or a server created to host one’s friends irrespective of where the friends come from. Red in particular seemed to get pretty heated at the insinuation that her own server, or any personal server, could be construed as problematic. I ineffectively attempted to clarify for a bit, but then she began insulting Makin’s reasoning for and handling of the creation of other servers; the nature of this discussion was somewhat murky to me, but it hinged on the reasons why people may leave or remain on the server. Nights was dragged into this discussion again, a tactic that at this point strikes me as unfortunate due to his desire to be left out of any ensuing conflict here. As it is, Makin firmly declared that he thought he never would have left if it wasn’t for splinter servers existing.
Many wasted no time in leaping on Makin’s throat for saying this. It’s better that I not go into the exact reasons for Night’s departure—not for any controversial reason, but rather because it is simply unimportant—but suffice to say that people found this declaration to be disingenuous at best and provided numerous other reasons for it. The ensuing fracas was kind of intimidating in its intensity, and it became exceedingly obvious that the discussion was going to remain ugly.
On the one hand, I really appreciate it when the place is active and people are talking, but on the other it’s difficult to reconcile that desire for activity with the idea that sometimes the activity is unpalatable. There’s a tipping point where any discussion becomes invalid or unworthy of being had by dint of just how terrible it is. It’s hard to say where that point is exactly, and I’m not saying the conversation last night in particular deserved dismissal, but it is a principle that sticks out in my mind sharply when it seems that a given topic may get to that point. The only thing that immediately comes to mind that has successfully and especially consistently reached this level of discourse is Not On My Watch, which has effectively become taboo to even bring up.
At any rate, the conversation seemed to spiral out of control at a certain point. Rules of civility were broken, and although everyone discussed the matter no one was making any progress towards understanding, it seemed. There were too many harsh feelings on each side, even my own. At one point Makin’s responses seemed to become mocking almost, insinuating that he was “the most important person on the server”, which—while the content of the message may certainly be debated—was phrased in such an outrageously unappealing way as to be unacceptable to a number of people. I personally disdain this sort of sentiment and ended up accusing Makin of “rolling coal”.
Rolling coal is recent terminology that may or may not stick at this point. It refers to a practice that is common in the Midwest and southern states of the US, wherein one modifies their vehicle (usually a fuel-intense truck of some sort) to spew black sooty exhaust in copious amounts as they drive. Such is commonly employed to protest “rampant environmentalism”, or as a rude gesture towards other motorists and pedestrians, among others. I’ve begun using the phrase to refer to two things: unnecessarily harsh rebuttal over something that isn’t strictly important and/or responding by doubling down when proven wrong. My employment of the phrase isn’t accurate to its origin, but such is the way of language I guess.
At any rate, claiming that Makin is rolling coal is something that I’ve done in the recent past when he starts to lose an argument and starts acting out because of it (a fairly predictable response at this point). The idea, I believe, is that if he does something distracting enough then we’ll forget about the previous argument and let him off the hook for it. This has worked in the past but is becoming more obvious as time goes by.
Speaking more immediately I’m not sure if this is actually what he was doing in this argument in particular, but the conversation was negative enough that it felt correct to say in this instance. Predictably it only confused the already disorienting conversation even further and made things even more difficult to parse than they were.
Makin’s statements were particularly self-aggrandizing in this matter; on top of the “most important person in the server” comment, he continued to indicate that his decisions carried a lot of weight. While this is true, there is a particular rhetoric to be followed when making statements like this and it seems Makin dismisses it in favor of bluntness. I can appreciate this idea but in practice it makes him seem like he considers himself all-important, a viewpoint that is difficult to stomach for a lot of people. There’s an arrogance in it that is unappealing, no matter how true—a humble leader is more respectable than a braggart.
I won’t harp on this much more. Nothing else really happened today—I just feel it’s important to comment on the less palatable aspects of being here when they do happen. I enjoy this place and think its existence is a net-positive of course, but it would be doing a disservice to say that we experience no problems. Objectivity is important.
Nothing more for today.
8th of December
Today was a marked improvement over yesterday’s kerfuffle. We had a community stream in support of a new LOFAM album out, entitled “Xenoplanetarium”. The album’s reception was more typical than the previous I commented on: from what I could observe, most people felt that a majority of the tracks were simply alright, with a distinct few being very good. In my experience, this is usually how new albums go. This is not to say that the quality or presence of the albums is lamented—people are very happy with the results, and the fact that so many people feel like contributing in this way is pretty impressive. Even with the recent controversy I think it’s safe to say that their latest album was a success, and they deserve to be proud of their efforts.
As is standard with community streams, there was also a number of movies we watched, including the infamous Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: The Moive. With everything I’ve said about the comic, it may be easy for one to imagine what the movie must be like. “The Moive” was and is a frequent in-joke surrounding the mythos of SBAHJ, where Hussie originally made a single flash animation to accompany the comic entitled: “MOVIE #1: hooly SHIT, wear a MOVIE???????????”. However, it has since ballooned into something far more outrageous and daunting.
A group called Monifate, self-described as “spanish amateur creative team (somewhat akin to japanese doujin circles)”, created their own version of a full-length feature film of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. The final product is about an hour and forty minutes long and is, as expected, a bastardization of everything that has ever been associated with filmmaking in any way, shape, or form. The videos are available on Youtube but I don’t know that it’s advisable to go watch them unless you have a particularly strong mind—they’re just that absurd.
For those of us who are fond of the source material, this is basically as complete and effective a pursuit of the medium as we could have asked for. There is absolutely no cohesion of any sort in its production: sound has been warped significantly at any and all times so that dialogue is incomprehensible, ear-splitting, or both; the video itself has been fed through a variety of programs in order to destroy it as thoroughly as possible; after watching it I couldn’t begin to tell you what the plot was, and that’s probably how it’s supposed to be; the physical movement and speech patterns of the actors was so unbelievably awkward that it stretched the limits of physical perception to try and watch them accomplish any sort of action at all.
I personally found the entire experience exhausting as hell. Makin wanted my impression directly after it was finished, but my brain felt like too many squeezed lemons to really give a proper answer. Some time after viewing it I still feel that way about it honestly. There’s some content on this earth that’s so surreal that it defies any attempt to understand it by nature. I would say that I’m glad The Moive exists, but that would be too definite an assessment to give it.
The more exposure I gain to all of the elements of this fandom, the more I realize just how utterly bizarre and unique its circumstances are in some respects. In that way, I think it’s safe to say I am glad. It’s not everyday that you encounter a cultural goldmine like this.
Nothing more for today.
9th of December
There is some further consideration that I have to wonder about after today. I woke up today, greeted with a ping from Makin saying I should check out some people from the forums that MrCheeze was talking about. Prominent figures in MSPAF, who I still am not fully aware of even after some small exposition. I have no real inclination to interview them, although strictly speaking I probably should—my brief entry on the forums was hardly a comprehensive examination of the actual culture surrounding the place.
And yet, I find myself unwilling for some reason. I’m not sure if the time just isn’t right or if there is some deeper malaise going on, but I feel compelled to turn away from the suggestion. Perhaps it’s a spot of indignance in me; Makin seems to be involving himself more readily with these efforts, and while I certainly appreciate his assistance on these matters I’m extremely wary of anyone intruding too much. I’m not even sure how it is he would “intrude”, if at all, and I’m sure that these thoughts may be interpreted as paranoia for many, but nonetheless I feel it necessary to spell these thoughts out, for myself if nothing else. I should talk with him about this sometime and see what his thoughts are. Maybe he’ll have some insight on where to take this journal in the future, insofar as what to do with it once all is said and done. It would certainly defeat the purpose if it were to never be seen again.
My thoughts on this matter have probably been exacerbated at least in part by a response I got in the interviews, concerning the nature of this journal and my investigations. I will avoid going into further detail untl the entry about these interviews in particular, but suffice to say that one of the answers I received felt like a rather unfair jab at my methodology. It did bring up a more or less cogent point about who I’m interviewing and what I’m writing about though, so in the interest of maintaining as complete a record as I can I’ve taken it into due consideration. I understand that this description is rather nebulous, but it will make more sense in the future entry dedicated to this topic—namely, I feel I will describe it in some more detail once the Music Team entry is complete. Time will tell.
Of a more specific bent, there was a rather entertaining swing to the evening that was somewhat unconventional. I’ve been struck with a particular ennui lately, and thus a subsequent boredom. I was trawling around on the HSD and not saying much, but then was struck by a small piece of inspiration: I started inviting people to play Left 4 Dead 2.
In my experience, the idea of people playing games together has been often touted but rarely executed for some reason. SS13 is more the exception than the rule, with a somewhat stable userbase (although dwindling as time goes by). Getting enough people together to play any sort of game is nothing short of wrangling chickens, but occasionally it may be pulled off successfully. Tonight was one such occasion: myself, TS, Nostalgic, Putnam, Toast, Sora, and Dingus all got together to play. VirtuNAT was going to join us but couldn’t download the game in time, but they were with us in spirit nonetheless.
Thus launched one of the more stupid, yet enjoyable nights I’ve had. The teams were horribly unbalanced but none of us were in it for victory—rather, it was simply about enjoying some good, old-fashioned tomfoolery together. I have to say, the energy was palpable; we all made each other laugh, and it never quite stopped being interesting. All too soon it was over, though, and it made me feel a bit sad to realize the fun was over. The times where we get together like this are miraculous in their own right, and I sincerely hope that it can be done again in the near future.
This was followed by a more typical arrangement: Putnam, Barry, and I have all been playing Minecraft with each other on a semi-regular basis. This is a more common and pedestrian occurrence, so I won’t go about it at too much length; rather I just feel it’s noteworthy because I have come to associate them with the game in my own way. This is actually the second iteration of a server we’ve played on together, both hosted by WoC.
I have to confess an extremely profound sense of satisfaction at having two people to play with on a more or less regular basis. I feel it speaks to an inherent ability of the HSD, that us three seemingly random individuals can all find a game together and play it so regularly. It is doomed to fade just like last time, but by some confluence of nature the three of us have inexorably been pulled towards this game and enjoyed it together for some time. It seems a silly thing to bother remarking on so thoroughly, but there’s an odd and endearing sense of magic to it in my eyes. I think I can understand a little of what people mean when they call things fated.
Nothing more for today.
10th of December
Today took on a distinct tone that reminded me of the night I described a couple entries ago, where mania ran rampant and coated the day at certain points. However, the balance of wacky behavior with earnest involvement was not maintained very well, and at many points the conversation crashed as a result.
An early event was Makin tightening his grip on mspa-lit—there was discussion he wasn’t fond of happening, so naturally he attempted to shut it down with his signature bluntness. I believe it was some rather characteristic talk of Dragon Ball, and he threatened to shut the channel down over that if it wasn’t moved to #anime. It might have been a different discussion, but the exact show in question isn’t necessarily important. Makin’s attempts to divert the discussion from topics he doesn’t like strike people as disingenuous because it is almost always an attempt to assert his own interests over others.
I protested the dismissal because the channel wasn’t even being used at the time, at which point wheals described it thusly: “i don't care because anti-anime laws will never be enforced impartially”. This has been a fairly consistent theme in mspa-lit, where Makin’s will takes precedence over that of others in the discussion. It continues to serve as one of the main points of contention between him and a variety of people on the server, adding considerable fuel to the idea that Makin is hypocritical, among other things.
This is less the point than the fact that it is aggravating to have your discussion shunted elsewhere, often to the effect of death. It served to disrupt the momentum of the conversation in palpable ways, and I believe such tactics were responsible for some pretty heavy periods of silence. Today in particular was marked by some distinct areas of quiet, despite the intended goal to increase the activity level of the place as much as possible. I quickly became bored with this and decided to check on altgen.
This foray, perhaps predictably, did not yield any entertaining fruit. I’ve talked at length before about how altgen has been following a marked trend of de-extremization, and is beginning to turn into a more socially dominated place. This development has served as a particular point of ire both in the past and recently, as it feels as if altgen has been coopted and is being fundamentally misused. The form of altgen that I was familiar with seems to have died months ago, a fact that brings me much bitterness. I wonder if it will be this way forever.
I went back to mspa-lit, which had since become more active, but something felt almost imperceptibly wrong the entire time. It’s hard to place my finger on it exactly but it was almost too shitposty for what it should be. There was an excessive amount of social-like posting from people, and whether joking or not it helped me to understand why it is exactly that Makin tries to institute these barriers in conversation; the degree of flirtatiousness goes beyond comfortable levels, and the discussion is easy to derail into a ridiculous bout of navel-gazing. Even if I fundamentally disagree with how he does things, he—presumably—does in fact have a reason for the things he does. Perhaps there’s a way to reconcile this, I’ll have to think about it.
Nothing more for today.
11th of December
Today was confusing and, all things considered, rather onerous. I may have already been in a bad mood when the events of the evening began, but there was a definite progression over time that led to unmitigated bullshit unfolding.
This began with a discussion in mspa-lit, as one might learn without any surprise whatsoever. Everyone’s posting habits have been somewhat erratic as of late, owing probably to the fact that finals are here, and everyone is scrambling around like chickens with their heads cut off. Even if finals are not involved, people have been acting exceedingly strangely and it’s beginning to grow tiresome.
Trickster is a great example of this, having been “Ifnar-posting” lately—he has taken on the mannerisms and typing style of Ifnar, but he is regrettably unable to actually speak as such. We consciously recognized this only a little while after it started and called Trickster out on it, but without any real intent to quell the behavior. We were more or less content to let it continue for a while and incorrectly assuming that it would go away on its own, but after two days it had grown incredibly annoying somehow. Along with everyone else I told him to stop, at which point he seemed to openly mock me and continue doing so anyway. Trickster can be an urchin—perhaps somewhat apropos given his name—but he is not a brazen fool. I was almost shocked at this display, too much to even ban him for it. Instead I tried to interface with him and figure out what the fuck was going on to make him act this way. At that point he admitted that he was on a trip that was making him feel weirdly, affecting his posting habits.
Such nonsense has been the stuff of the day to day lately. Today I thought we might witness a reprieve from the neverending absurdity, because somehow Tipsy and Putnam started discussing ethical frameworks of all things. I described an occurrence earlier this year where Makin and I were discussing some rather philosophically oriented topics, and while it may appear pseudo-intellectual in nature to some I think we genuinely enjoy these conversations because it offers a chance to understand each other on a more base level. The same would have been true of today: I was quite looking forward to this discussion, brought up on a silver platter as it were.
I should have known it was not to last. The conversation was approaching full swing, and though it may have been cumbersome to people not currently engaged the discussion itself was fairly interesting. Putnam and Tipsy, among others, were on the cusp of a deeper understanding of themselves and their position in this group as a whole, but then hb came out of the woodwork and threw a dong-shaped wrench right into the gears.
Even now, hours later, it still incenses me to think of it. Hb and a couple others, Toast and Dingus included, felt that the conversation was circlejerky or otherwise unimportant and shortly began sabotaging it as thoroughly as possible. They employed tactics not unfamiliar to me at this point: shitposting subtly, derailing the conversation in slight ways that threw the entire discussion off balance, baiting, the works. The following fifteen minutes were some of the most grueling I have ever spent on this server, with a small, dedicated group of saboteurs shamelessly working in tandem to destabilize a discussion because, as one remarked, they were “bored” and unhappy with the current topic.
There are few words capable of describing how upset I was by this development. As with Trickster I was almost unable to respond—how do you handle a situation where people you are familiar with and thoroughly trust act like petulant brats? I grew angry, perhaps too much so. I didn’t ban them, because this sort of thing isn’t technically breaking rules. However, it was so flagrantly disrespectful that I made it clear I wouldn’t tolerate it again. I think hb accepted this more or less with a grain of salt, although he was clearly disgruntled at the admonishment.
I ranted about it shortly in the mod channel as well, although I tried to keep my grievances more or less to myself. It’s difficult to respond to something like this: how much backlash is too much? In the end I think I did the most respectable thing I could and let it go this time. I’m not sure if this will help, but next time I won’t be lenient on them. This sort of intense disrespect for others is unacceptable. Then again, I can’t say I feel comfortable making a rule protecting discussion, because sometimes there is in fact an excessively shitty conversation going on that could benefit from being interrupted. As usual, it will have to be a case by case thing.
Needless to say, this put me in a considerably foul mood for the rest of the night. Thankfully I was able to take my mind off of it for a while by playing more Left 4 Dead with the fellows from the previous night and Sea Hitler, but then once that was said and done I was forced to return to my agitated contemplations on the matter. I didn’t want to shit up mspa-lit with my grouchiness so I decided to peruse altgen instead, figuring that the lack of seriousness would enable me to move past my frustration.
Unfortunately, the trend I’ve remarked upon for altgen, with its gradual increase in socialization, was in full swing. I hate to admit it but this served to make me even more upset than I was before, although at this point it was purely irrational. I decided to ignore their group behavior and start posting things at random. For some reason Sea Hitler and the janitors all caught on and started indiscriminately shitposting. Before long, other people caught on and the chat devolved into nothing but screaming for a while. It was almost magical; the transformation itself was subtle, but once in full swing no one could ignore it or swim against the tide. For any who were part of altgen for the community, it must have been an utter nightmare.
Eventually the screaming itself subsided, but it had given way to a peculiar kind of mania. Borne out of the sheer indignance at altgen’s apparent wussification, I think it proved too much for myself and others who have been around for a while; we were swept up into a tide of anti-social sentiment, and we started attempting to shake up the place. We decreed that altgen would go back to its roots as a shitpost-centric channel, and that all “socialization” would be moved to the appropriate channels or dealt with harshly.
I think it goes without saying that this did not go over well for people who were genuinely trying to associate with each other openly. I can say this with confidence because many who were doing so said they would leave over our rule change, to which I believe the reply was more often than not “good, there are other channels for you besides this one.” As time went on, however, there was no decrease in the number of people posting such messages. The backlash to our attempts to reinstate the original, more harsh environment was fierce, and I couldn’t help but feel increasingly that our sudden interference was ill-advised.
Finally, people began daring us to delete altgen entirely if we were going to do this to it. Not one to shy away from hiding altgen for a while, I obliged and closed the channel. The conversation went to #general; at the closure of altgen, more regulars began coming out of the woodwork, including $trider. While most people who use altgen are unmitigated children whose participation is usually cursory, $trider is a fully capable adult who often employs pretty solid reasoning. As soon as he became involved, the discussion took a more serious bent; I felt compelled to address him more fully, and it was then that my façade of confidence began to truly falter.
I’m glad that I talked with and unbanned this fellow some months ago, he’s proven to be quite reasonable about most things. After talking the situation through with him, I became fully cognizant of the fact that what I was doing was blindingly stupid. When faced with the truth, you have two options: accept it responsibly or deny it to further your own agenda. Anyone who dares to call themselves decent or rational could never consider the latter an acceptable course of action.
Faced with this Hobson’s choice, it was time to put a stop to the charade. I reopened the channel with a temporary gag so I could explain my actions for the night and request forgiveness: when it comes to matters like this, I feel like a direct approach is best. People were understandably pissed at first, but in the end I feel as if my rhetoric won out. Once I unmuted the channel, people were more than satisfied with my apologies, so I feel as if everything turned out well enough.
Pigeon Jude, a notable altgen regular like $trider, talked with me about this in PMs; they were also critical of my actions and helped persuade me to see reason again. Additionally, they admitted that, while happy with the resolution wherein altgen was not in fact reduced to a cesspool again, the hugboxing had grown rather intense and that it needed to be reduced. They mentioned being in talks with TS about the issue, and I have some hope that altgen will be able to retain its community feeling while also edging out unnecessary drama or embarrassingly private posts.
It’s worth mentioning at this point that a hugbox, according to urbandictionary (the only resource I could find with a definition for this idea), is “a derogatory term for an environment, usually on the internet, in which a group with similar interests gathers to discuss topics in what they intend to be a safe, comforting, and confrontation-free environment.” This seems fine in theory, but in practice it usually leads to a place where no one can speak out against the current consensus of the group: to do so usually leads to one being branded a heretic, and subsequent castigation. Hugboxes are immensely undesirable as they destroy the ability to discuss new ideas that oppose groupthink. Communities that suffer from this are usually doomed to become ultra-secluded and die. Makin and the rest of us mods are not okay with this, of course, so we try our best to eliminate the chances of it happening.
This all having been said, keeping a hugbox from developing was half of my motivation for beginning this poorly-planned crusade against altgen’s transformation into another #social channel. However, as I’ve admonished (or tried to admonish) Makin for, it does not do to try and stamp out a community that simply admires and cares for each other. Genuine concern and appreciation for one another does not equate to hugboxing, and is actually desirable if you want people to remain in your community and strengthen it.
While I will still foment as much chaos as possible within altgen for my own amusement and to keep the channel on its toes culturally, I think that the night was left on a rather positive note with regards to my involvement. I hope that the camaraderie between myself and altgen regulars will only deepen as time goes by, so that further misunderstandings may be avoided.
Nothing more for today.
15th of December
Nothing of much note has been happening for the last few days, although an already bothersome trend has only intensified lately. Makin has been seemingly redoubling his efforts to edge out conversation he deems unwanted—where before it felt like he was content to leave conversations be for a while as long as the people involved were engaged and enjoying themselves, now he wastes no time in relocating discussions (and more often than not killing them in the process) when the pop up.
This has left us little recourse. Now most of the interesting conversations are had once he has gone to bed for the night—attempting to engage in topics that he doesn’t approve of while he’s awake is a quick way to earn admonishment and, historically at least, a channel ban if you refuse to comply. Needless to say, this newfound hostility has been disquieting.
It’s actually difficult to assess exactly how other people feel about it. As near as I can tell, no one has openly complained about the tactic yet, at least not in this most recent form. I haven’t even bothered to ask most people, because the prospect of doing so seems pointless. I’m not convinced that, even if everyone in the channel were to complain about it, Makin would change these tendencies. I’m not sure if this is an effect of us indulging him too much or if he’s simply playing around with us, but the only thing I know for sure at this point is that I find it aggravating.
Realistically mspa-lit has always been Makin’s treading ground, but as with the altgen incident a few days prior the purposes and strengths of a channel will change over time. My trying to force the channel to conform to how it used to be proved disastrous—I wonder if Makin will eventually come to the realization that forcing the channel to conform to his whims does not endear him to anyone else? Does he even care about that? It’s difficult to say.
I’m not even sure exactly how much I should care about this behavior. I imagine that if outcry is great enough then Makin will consider changing his ways, but so much is unknown about him at any given time. His motives are unclear, his argumentation is confusing and purposefully nonsensical more often than I would prefer. Perhaps all of this is just his way of having a laugh over the rest of us.
Yet, for all of this it hasn’t been totally miserable. I guess my complaints really are my own, in that I couldn’t begin to tell if others share them at this point. Perhaps it’s not worth worrying about until I know for sure one way or the other? The last thing I wish to do is to cause waves unnecessarily. We find time enough to discuss off-topic nonsense when Makin isn’t around, this policy hasn’t become too draconic just yet. Hopefully it stays that way.
Nothing more for today.
17th of December
The last couple of days have felt kind of rough. I feel a very prominent sense of agitation for some reason, owed partially to real life circumstances, but also exacerbated in no small part by events of the HSD or at least my own perception of them.
Yesterday I openly voiced my concerns with Makin’s behavior, but the ensuing conversation cast some light on my self-doubt as to whether those concerns are accurate or deserved. My own frustrations are no doubt amplifying how I feel about Makin’s joking nature; I put out some feelers to see how others felt, and although many still retain the sentiment that Makin is inscrutable and sometimes obnoxious in his dealings, no one feels as if he has been more so than usual lately.
Thus, I am forced to assume that it is my own perceptions that have changed, and far more greatly than I would like. A break may serve to help this—I’m sure with the chance to relax will come a loosening of this internal tension. Makin himself didn’t really respond much to my questions or musings on the matter, which, as always, I’m not sure how to receive. It has been the case in the past where I realized I was taking everything too seriously, and had to consciously remind myself not to do so. This is looking more and more to be one of those times.
The HSD itself has been rather lazy lately; I believe the lull in activity is due to a confluence of factors, most important being the holiday season. Members are no doubt celebrating the end of the year in whatever fashion is most appropriate to them, and I’m sure that visits to family or some other activity is the primary focus of their time. Such is the case everywhere—even outside of the HSD’s bubble, things feel a little more slow than usual. The holidays have always managed to withdraw passion and energy from the public sphere and donate it instead to more private settings. Places usually brimming with activity seem almost forlorn. I hope that all manage to enjoy their time this winter, and then I think it goes without saying that I look forward to their return. Perhaps not “return” in a physical sense, but the restoration of their participation here.
Perhaps my focus is too singleminded in this regard.
More positively, there are still vestiges of what I prize about this place lingering even in the dead of winter. Later on the night of the 16th or so, a variety of people seemingly came out of the woodwork, including Cait, LLF, Putnam, virtuNAT, DeceasedGentleman (aka DeadGuy), SomeRandomGuy, and a couple others. The tone of the ensuing conversations was actually pretty typical for what I’ve come to expect from all the people involved: Putnam in particular is pretty vocal on a wide variety of topics, usually pertaining to math or programming of some sort. It’s almost comforting to see him go on at length about these topics—he is simply vociferous in topics he is well versed in or finds fascinating. This can sometimes prove to be a problem; in the past he has been known to talk about things far beyond any level of interest others may have expressed in the topic, sometimes talking to himself or a dead room for over an hour. While it is occasionally necessary to shut such monologues down, it is far from odious—in fact, I would say that it’s rather endearing.
Aside from this, the night was dedicated to discussing things of a particular brand of mundanity. Even now I fail to remember what it is we were talking about, if anything in particular—whatever it may have been, the tone was decidedly familiar and unremarkable. I don’t mean this poorly, however; even when not much of value is being said, a worthwhile quality may come from elsewhere. Such was the case that night, where despite the topic being excessively unimportant we felt compelled to speak with each other. It lent itself to an air of relaxation and joviality.
I find that it is a hallmark of particularly strong and tightly knit communities to be able to talk about nothing in particular while still enjoying each other’s company. It reminds me especially of the Sydlexia community, where the same sentiment was so prevalent as to be taken for granted. It also, in my mind, cements the idea that everyone here may be considered friends, not just with me but each other. As someone who possesses a significant degree of uncertainty in their dealings with other people, it is rather comforting to realize such things. The idea, I think, is hampered by an unspoken desire to keep from saying such things aloud, but I’ve never been one for stuffy social propriety.
No, being able to discuss even the most common of topics with these fellows is a great thing. There is nothing special or unique about Dragon Ball or Harry Potter at this point, and there is even less that is special about random nonsense such as reverse-image searching a black background (a real thing that Putnam did, goodness knows why). Despite this, we are able to enjoy talking about such with each other. That’s a wonderful thing to be able to do with people.
I’ve gone on at length about this more than I deserve, though. More meaningfully, the SBAHJ kickstarter ended today. It accrued nearly two times its original goal, and this alongside its close has garnered ever more ire from some in the community. I would be lying if I said I cared sufficiently enough about it to protract out any debate on the topic, but even so I did end up arguing with Minish and hb for a little bit.
The most charitable way I could describe the opposition is that the Kickstarter is viewed as unnecessary and inappropriate—the website is ordinarily used for funding projects that “otherwise wouldn’t be”. The SBAHJ book project does not fall under this for a couple reasons, most notably being that Hussie has the influence and (probably) the wealth to organize such a project without a Kickstarter. It also seems inappropriate because the book has apparently already been written and illustrated in full, and the Kickstarter is being used as a preorder service, to gauge how many people would be interested in buying the book.
While I don’t necessarily see anything wrong with this, or would like not to, I am forced to recognize the validity of these concerns. Minish attempted to present the problem with financing as an issue with Hussie’s apparent deal with Viz, where he already has a million dollars to pursue such projects. I feel as if this is too vague to be a recognizable complaint, but speaking more generally I would find it hard to believe that Hussie does not already have the funds for printing and shipping of the book, or would be unable to strike another deal with Topataco. From our current perspective the situation is simply too muddy to see through clearly, and I guess that’s the source of my objection to these concerns.
At the end of the day, I can’t really blame them for feeling the way they do about it. Hussie is historically untrustworthy with such projects, and there is no shortage of ill will towards him lately. I try not to hold such a cynical viewpoint, but perhaps that is simply because I have not been around long enough. Then again, I’ve survived almost an entire year of moderating this server—that must count for something in this.
Speaking of which, there was some additional talk about The Reckoning today. Since I wasn’t around for it initially, the original event is somewhat obscure to me. The exact extent of “damage” that took place was apparently far greater than I thought, with all channels and mods being wiped out completely while the server was restructured. Tori posited that “part of the chaos was from everyone being dumped in one channel”, which is hardly surprising to me. Makin continues to outwardly hint at the coming of another such event, referring to it as “Judgment Day”.
The potential seriousness of this notwithstanding, I can’t help but laugh at the thought of “The Reckoning 2: Judgment Day”. I’ve said before that in some ways I actually look forward to the next cataclysmic event on this server, it would do much to shake things up. With a sample size of one so far, and especially taking into consideration the vastly different circumstances involved, it’s hard to say how it would turn out. Yet, rather than anxiety, the idea is tainted only with a curious brand of excitement for me. I guess that constitutes a sort of jinx—I’m not exactly looking forward to the mass outrage and panic that Makin implies will accompany this, but it will be amusing nonetheless.
A minor note, but Makin found an immense repository of old /hsg/ threads, from the time period in which archives are less reliable. It may be of only limited interest to most people, but I definitely appreciate the access to this material if nothing else. A link to a Megaupload with all of the information has been provided in appendix D under “Collection of /hsg/ Threads”. It seems to be a very well categorized collection, worth looking through for historicity’s sake if nothing else.
Actually, after looking through a number of these threads I’m kind of stunned at how deeply different they are in content and tone from what I’ve grown used to in the present day. Some of these threads are from over seven years ago, and it’s kind of unsettling to go through these old messages. The people involved are almost all completely unnamed, aside from a few people using tripcodes. I’m reminded distinctly of the graffiti that has been found in parts of old Roman society, serving as glimpses into the day to day life of citizenry that no longer exists.
The content of these threads is almost naïve in their simplicity. Of course it’s really easy to say this from my current perspective here, after the comic is pretty much over, but seeing how things were through this window directly into the past is almost surreal. It calls to mind that idea of the Wild West, where the lay of the land was not yet known to most, and there was opportunity to explore and delve deeper into the content. It’s almost kind of scary to see where these people came from and contrast it with how things have ended up. There are a myriad of fanworks that were started in complete earnestness, ambitious projects that were grand in their posture and exciting to contemplate, that were abandoned days or weeks later. Yet the baseline posts never stop, it seems. It is unending discussion for years worth of real time. How many people talked in these threads on a regular basis, I wonder?
There is an incredible complexity here that is almost impossible to describe with words alone. Even without any prior involvement with this, the underlying energy and delight of participation in these threads is evident. The mania is infectious, and it’s giving me a strange sense of nostalgia for something that I was never even around to witness. What other parts of this fandom have I missed out on? What details will I fail to note and preserve? How much is even possible to preserve at this point?
It feels like I need to rethink what this journal is about, again. There is so much perspective offered by these threads, I may spend more time going through them. I need to work harder to gather as much information as I can about these cultures.
This entry has gone on longer than I anticipated, but stuff just won’t stop happening today, it seems. Just got word that Miro was having a poll on MSPFA regarding the use of slurs in fanadventures. This poll appeared to be a sham to all who were watching it, because he only left it up for one hour and as soon as the option for “remove slurs” started to win he closed it and announced that the victor. This is an upsetting development, and most people are unhappy with what Miro deems “slurs”, including such terms as AIDS. As Makin indicated, “homestuck would definitely be censored or outright deleted under the new mspfa rules”.
If Miro decides, he could easily get rid of any fanventure he thinks is unacceptable. The fate of fanventures like CANWC and innumerable others is now in jeopardy, and no one knows what will happen. Nixshadow and Miro actually came on just now to defend the poll; they either suspected or perceived that there was some significant misrepresentation going on here
Nixshadow’s position in all of this is kind of strange to me, although understandable: they simply appear to want to stay away from the fandom drama as much as possible. On the other hand, Miro wanted to “clear his name” however possible, and set the record straight as to what he’s doing. Despite his protestations I feel unconvinced—this censorship is almost assuredly a bad thing in a broad sense. Of course, this opinion is the companion to a very widely spanning series of discourses about the nature of free speech, which it will be better to go into another time.
The overall point here is that there is significant fear over what Miro is doing now. Some are perturbed enough by this that they’ve brought up alternatives: Gnawms suggested a place called “Hiveworks”, which I’m not familiar with. Other suggestions have been similar, sparking contention for one reason or another. This is a pretty good lesson in why decentralizing your community is important though—if everyone is localized in one place and is subsequently destabilized, you risk losing everything.
There is some hope that we won’t have to resort to anything drastic; at this point it’s simply too early to tell what will happen. If enough people get upset using Miro’s service then they will simply leave for the next best alternative. Perhaps this move would be advantageous in the long run, but splitting up the community in the meantime seems like a great way to kill it by accident. It depends on the relative levels of passion that each person goes into it with, but I can’t help but think that it wouldn’t turn out well. With luck, nothing dramatic will be necessary anyway.
This conversation wound down as most do, by descending into madness and random memes as people got tired of debating it ad nauseum. The future of MSPFA now at least vaguely uncertain, I imagine that any aware of this must be considering what it means for their fanventures. Is this the beginning of the end for MSPFA, or will it bounce back well enough? Will this mark the eventual rise of other fanventure websites? Who knows, man. We’ll see eventually.
Nothing more for today.
18th of December
Today was rather intense in its own way. It started off innocently enough, with some well-intended elbowrubbing among us in the morning. At some point though, it became immediately clear something was off.
The lighthearted mood of the morning was abruptly shaken by a sudden skirmish (as I perceived it) between Minish and Tensei. The source of the conflict was some foolish nonsense: Minish had made a one word joke response and Tensei mocked him for it. This sort of banter, if it can even be called that, is the most basic form of interaction here for most people. Minish did not take well to it, though, and before I knew it Minish was complaining about his general treatment in this channel. Normally I would roll my eyes at such a display but he appeared to be genuinely distraught, feeling that we were treating him poorly.
The conversation became complicated from here. There is, I assume, never any real intent to insult others here; a significant part of our interactions tend to involve ribbing, but it is hardly a bad thing. I’ve described how I used to be more stilted and that this bothered me, but over time it has become significantly easier to take in and understand what’s going on. Unfortunately, in such places as ours, there will always be at least one person who doesn’t appreciate the common mode of interaction. This may or may not be their fault—sometimes it’s unavoidable or cannot be helped. I’m not sure what the case is with Minish, whether he’s too anal-retentive to handle everyone’s jokes, or if he is simply unable to for some reason. Whatever the case, when situations like this arise it is typically the best course of action to take a step back and see if something needs to be changed.
I would be lying through my teeth if I said such behavior does not bother me anymore; the fact of the matter is that it does, but not nearly as much as it used to. I am fortunate that I’ve been able to learn the ins and outs of associating with others in this group, but it will not always come so easy to others. With people like myself and Minish, there are three methods for handling it: adjusting your behavior around the individual in question; continuing as you were and hoping that they adjust; and spurning them and their concerns. The latter is of course not really an option, unless your community is founded on exclusionary tactics like 4chan. What tends to happen, in my experience, is a mix of the former two. It is useful to dial back the jeering to appease the person in question, but only temporarily. After doing so you can gradually return to the normal mode of talking, and in doing so condition the person to be fine with it. This may be seen as insidious by some, but it is a tried and true method of assimilation into almost any internet culture I’ve seen.
I guess all of this is besides the point, more or less. The focus for us and Minish was not “how do we assimilate him into our fold more fully,” but rather “what can we do to make him less upset?” Minish is a valued member of our group, and although sometimes he can go off the rails and cause problems he’s not irredeemable or even deserving of scorn. With these things in mind I wanted to try and meet him in the middle, to appease him and then help him become more acclimated to what we do. I fear that my explanations were unhelpful though—to be fair, the focus should have been on making him feel better at that moment. Explanations can come after, when everyone involved is more level-headed.
At this point though, Makin came online and involved himself directly. To my faint surprise he echoed the sentiment that Minish’s concerns should come first. It is now such that we’re to try and avoid making too much fun of him. It bears repeating that no ill will was intended towards him, and we had no idea that he was sincerely bothered by our mocking. Of course, if he does something that is unconditionally deserving of it we will still probably make fun of him; I have faith that Minish is reasonable enough to withstand this treatment.
As things go, this conversation eventually transformed itself into a discussion about rationality, hardly an unusual circumstance for us. More atypical was that during the course of the talk we started talking about the qualities of various people in the server. I believe the first quality to be exemplified was “wholesomeness”, which I and many others attributed immediately to Phantos. I associated Makin with energy and creativeness, although he surprised me and attributed energy to me. I had always attributed this property to him due to all of the events he organizes, and the way he manages to galvanize the server; I’ll admit that it was very pleasant to hear him compliment me in this way.
I feel as if there has been a relative increase in the number of conversations that are like this, namely that we ascribe each person to some sort of qualifier. They have definitely happened in the past as well, where we compare members of the group to characters in a story, especially Homestuck, but I’ve always figured that sort of subject was either too juvenile in nature or too socially oriented for Makin’s taste, perhaps others. They are certainly effective at bringing people together, at the very least in a superficial sense, but it’s difficult to tell how exactly such talk affects the community in a broad sense. I’m more than certain people like WoC would find it disgusting, an idea that brings me some mirth.
Later in the day, Austinado was talking about the project he’s on, Vast Error. This is a more typical and, indeed, palatable topic for the likes of mspa-lit. It usually involves a hefty amount of criticism, as we are not shy about remarking on qualities that we find unsuitable. This can be very useful for people able to withstand the criticism, but often I fear we may be too harsh or demanding. In the course of discussing Vast Error, Makin made a comparison between Austinado’s writing to gambling for some reason: “you are falling for most of the early writer pitfalls but you think you'll be the one to make it regardless, like a gambling addict that thinks they can win if they play one more time”. Even after considering this for some time now, I’m unable to parse what exactly he might have meant by this 2.
Regardless of the intended message, Austin seemed to become despondent afterwards and then mentioned he had to go. He is a fairly cherished member of the community in his own right, so this sudden departure was concerning. Makin even remarked, “I might have gone too far in a few places,” which while a meme phrase reflected a real and rare sentiment of regret from him. At this point I was torn between concern and amusement, but given Austin’s popularity I let him be. Hamfisted analogies aside, he doesn’t have thin skin and I figured that at least a couple people were comforting him already.
Sure enough, such was the case. Red and Toast got to him shortly after the conversation ended, and I imagine one or two others as well. Austin also messaged me personally afterwards and explained that he wasn’t upset, which I was grateful for. He really was busy preparing for the release of a new album about Vast Error, which is always an exciting event for any fanventure team. With some reassuring words he left once more, inviting me to attend the album release later in the day.
Situations like this one are rather heartening to me. I mentioned recently the feeling that the community has become more tightly knit in recent months, and these ocurrences do much to cement that feeling for me. It feels that, with each day that passes, people become more firmly implanted here, and the sense of togetherness grows. Even Makin, for all of his posturing, leaks little bits of feeling3 here and there. He talks harshly but I can sense underneath that imposing virtual frame is a softie who appreciates the group that he has built for himself here.
That’s right Makin, I’ve got your number down. Now watch as he deletes the entire server to spite me.
Anyway, I did actually attend the volume release, and as always I was impressed with the sheer amount of dedication and talent pumped into the project. There were many genuinely enjoyable songs on the album, and afterwards people got into voicecall to discuss it and generally hang out. It was markedly different to be on call with these people, as the Vast Error team is its own collection of people. Many of them exist on the HSD as well, but nonetheless it was a unique feeling to be enmeshed, however temporarily, with a group that is more or less divested from what I have come to call my home. The internet is a fascinating and wonderful medium for people to congregate and collaborate on all manner of things, and seeing such a group in real time and recognizing their dedication to each other and their project was pleasantly stunning.
Speaking of other communities, the Homesmut server finally reached their own sort of Schwarzchild radius recently. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but I think that we are witnessing the beginning of another dedicated community. The number of people on the server recently breached 400 people, 75% of which have access to the NSFW channels, and though I’ve checked in periodically it never seems that anyone is really talking instead of just enjoying the pornography. After the death and collapse of the NSFW community on the HSD, this has been an incredibly disappointing development.
However, after poking my head in today it seemed as if there were people discussing things in a general and relaxed manner. Curious, I observed for a while and confirmed my suspicions; these members had started talking amongst themselves, and were actually fomenting discussion. It is difficult to call them a community at this point, it is too prototypical for that, but nonetheless there is the beginnings, the merest hint of, a culture starting to form. At this point I involved myself, talking with them for a while. A mostly friendly bunch, I think it’s too early to tell whether they will fall apart or succeed and grow. I am not allowing myself to believe that the latter is a given at this point in time. One can certainly hope though—perhaps we will finally have a dedicated adult community again in the future.
Back in the HSD proper, later at night we began having a conversation about which fanventures were “the best”. This is obviously a meme topic, to be treated with no degree of seriousness. Despite this, Minish was engaging and to all appearances having a nice time. Compared with the events of the morning this was rather nice to witness. All of the people involved, especially Sora, were giving him a hard time for his tastes I believe, but Minish took it in good stride. It may be that my hope for him to adjust are not misplaced. It’s too early to make a prediction, but situations like this are always a rather positive sign.
In a more general sense, I’ve mentioned it recently but I feel it’s worth stating again that I really enjoy these kinds of silly conversations. We try to discuss things in a serious manner often enough, but too much of a good thing is a bad thing. It’s best to strive for a balance of entertaining with substantive, and it is always good to try and increase the sense of camaraderie between people in the community. Sometimes I’ve considered trying to purposefully steer discussion in a way that people will do this more, but if I’m being honest I don’t see the value in engineering such an environment. A self sustaining and healthy community is better off having formed organically, rather than through any sort of higher orchestration.
In a general capacity, I am more than pleased to be able to say that it feels like our group of people has become only closer in the last two months. My earlier fears seem to have been misplaced, which is always something I will be happy to say. I hope in complete earnestness that we continue on this path for as long as possible.
Nothing more for today.
19th of December
Not much of importance happened today, honestly. Interesting conversation involved a topic that Tensei has been interested in for the last couple of days, namely a Rapture scenario where everyone on earth disappears except for you, and what you would do in the face of such circumstances. I think that today’s version of this was a branch of that idea, specifically concerning repopulation of the world even without a partner. This turned into a huge talk on genetics, which is a twisty knot for its own reasons. Suffice to say that the conversation was a very interesting one.
I will actually be completely absent tomorrow, and so I’ve asked people to keep an eye on events in the server and tell me about them if they are important or otherwise remarkable. It might make for an interesting entry depending on what happens and what people tell me exactly. As it is, nothing more for today.
21st of December
Nothing of importance seems to have happened yesterday, as those who agreed to watch (MrNostalgic, Neth, Lord of Stupid, and virtuNAT) told me. They seemed rather disappointed; I think they were looking forward to having something to report. Alas, not all of watching the HSD is exciting. I still appreciate their efforts though—it does make me laugh a little bit to consider them sitting and watching the place for 8 hours straight, not that I think that’s what actually happened. I’ll have to find a way to express my appreciation to them.
Today, however, the altgen conundrum has arisen once more. The night has been a veritable whirlwind so some of the details are fuzzy to me, but at one point Toast brought up altgen. We proceeded to have a discussion about the changes they’ve gone through over the last several months, which led inexorably to the conclusion that it has become a hugbox of sorts. This thought process was less than pleasant, and at one point I decided to go into altgen to play witness to it myself.
The channel was only being used by about three or four people at the time, and the discussion was a sort of ingratiating whining about what we were discussing over in mspa-lit, namely the gradual paradigm shift in altgen. They took this as a personal affront, and were trashing on those of us lamenting the current state of affairs.
Their response may have been understandable but it was aggravating to the maximum degree, and I felt it was time to initiate war. I conferred with other mods who were altgen regulars, and then the janitors: I think aside from Molly, everyone’s sentiments matched my own, in that altgen’s current form was an aberration and needed to be rectified post haste. Of course, we’ve been through this song and dance before recently, so I wanted to try and approach this from an angle that would satisfy both parties.
I feel I’ve succeeded, at least somewhat. Forcibly moving the altgen community is not adviseable or even possible without banning everyone involved, so I tried to meet them in the middle. Shitposting has gradually fallen away as the focus of the channel in favor of the altgen community, which is not really something I can fault them for exactly; it is natural and positive for a community to arise. However, altgen is first and foremost a designated shitpost palace. I began an ill-advised bout of spamming with “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”, with everyone else in the channel following suit (technically against the rules, but undeniably cathartic). After this I updated the channel description to more accurately reflect what the channel’s purpose is, which is when the complaints really began to flow.
I tried to establish the fact that the altgen community is not being forced to relocate, but that shitposting would be encouraged more greatly since that’s what the channel is for, and especially in light of the fact that #altgen is just a clone of #general and #social at this point. People were not happy with this change, namely Pigeon Jude and SmolMuffin, the only two prominent regulars around at the time. They both began this pattern of bemoaning their fate while saying they would accept it, which struck me as disingenuous and only served to agitate me further.
I will be the first to admit that my responses were less than charitable, although at no point did I enter “tyrannical” territory. Nonetheless I started to fuck things up; we initiated a mini-purge, with all manner of spam happening and successfully crashing peoples Discord clients in certain channels. Nostalgic, Toast, and a few others around for this were having a great time, expressing their amusement consistently; others were not so pleased. Phantos mentioned his client crashed, as well as a few others. I forcibly stopped the purge after a minute or two because it was just too chaotic; I might try and find out what is causing this problem at a later time.
Aside from clients crashing, Cait and a few others expressed displeasure at the idea that we were upsetting the natural community there. This brought me some grief, as my intent and stated goal was not to oust anyone during this process. I’ve taken some time to talk to individuals there, especially Pigeon Jude, to try and figure out if there’s anything that can be done to facilitate merging the community and more intense shitposting.
It is a complicated process and is going to no doubt require a lot of time to sort out, if indeed it can be done at all. The idea some are giving voice to is that shitposting heavily will eventually force the altgen community to relocate to a more appropriate spot, such as #social (where light shitposting of the variety found in altgen is allowed). The source of reluctance for moving is also agitating to me, amounting largely (from what I could see) to, “We don’t feel like moving.” It’s hard to say what the appropriate action is here, or if I’m simply being M I S G U I D E D. I’ll have to see how others respond tomorrow, or what input others may have.
In other news, Discord released a new feature: custom emotes now have 50 additional slots for animated gifs. This is a boon not to be understated: our community engages in a lot of nonsense that relies explicitly on the presence of emotes, and much of our culture is founded on being able to trot one out at any given opportunity. There were already 50 at our disposal, and what images end up being used was something of a battle at times. I’ve mentioned this before, but Wheals used to be able to change emotes around at will, but then once we started encountering a shortage of slots Makin removed the ability for mods to be able to change emotes. Ever since then it has been something of a trial to get him to change anything by common opinion.
The animated gif slots have broken this deadlock, more or less. Makin even reopened the emote slots for any mod to change, a privilege that Ngame seized upon with what can only be described as an unbelievable frenzy (in a matter of hours, over 40 of the 50 new slots were taken up by his submissions alone). This appears to be a good study in the way the emotes worked originally: the list of static emotes we have now are a pretty stable assortment of images that have served us well for some months; it used to be a tad more hectic this time last year and especially before, when we were still optimizing the list and coming up with the cadre of images that we have now. It is a rare day when emotes get switched around at all anymore.
All of this is to say that the list of animated emotes we have now is probably less than ideal. After a cursory perusal of what we have at the end of the day, it actually seems rather lackluster if I may say so. Far from a slight towards Ngame, this is honestly to be expected—at the beginning, the idea is to have as many emotes available and then to prune or improve them as time goes by. In the coming months I expect that many of the animated emotes he added will be removed and replaced with something of higher quality. I’m honestly a little astonished that he managed to find so much content, and he deserves credit for it. I wonder how many that Ngame added which will still be around after a few months.
Nothing more for today.
22nd of December
I’m beginning to feel some regret for what I’ve done to altgen. You would think I learned my lesson the first time I tried to shake things up in there, and yet here we are. There is some improvement over the last time, in that some people have received my reasoning well enough. $trider seems amenable as well as a few other altgen regulars, and some old regulars who had since stopped coming, like ConstitutionCoin and Lord Jerry, have been very pleased at the change of policy. Unfortunately, there is still a distinct cabal of people who are not happy with the current arrangement, viewing the mandate on shitposting as an unnecessary and especially unwelcome intrusion.
I’m trying to consider where it is I’ve gone wrong with this. I felt as if the “compromise” I reached last night was sufficient, but now I’m starting to wonder if any such arrangement could ever actually be seen as satisfactory to all parties. I’ve fallen prey to the idea that a true compromise is possible between all people no matter the situation—perhaps this is truly a zero-sum game, where someone is fated to lose out. Despite recognizing the validity of this possibility, it strikes me to the core of my being as unsavory. I’m not ruthless like Makin or WoC are, I’m not sure that I’m able to make these sorts of decisions where some will definitively be dealt the short end of the stick.
On the other hand, it may be that this scenario in particular strikes me as unjust in nature—Tensei mentioned earlier that shitposting isn’t really something that this server needs. Assuming this is true, then my marauding is not only pointless but actually quite despicable. Is my goal a sham? Is attempting to reestablish a central shitposting refuge futile? I’m not sure what exactly to do at this point.
I think the part that has played the greatest part in breaking my confidence is the apparent disapproval of people like Cait or Tensei. Neither of them have outright stated my intended goal is bad, but Tensei has expressed a lack of need for what I’m trying to accomplish and Cait especially has lamented the fact that it is costing the happiness of others. This latter point is what gives me the most pause by far out of all complaints; I don’t think I have it in me to intentionally do things that physically upset other people, certainly not when the benefits are dubious and the people in question are undeserving.
Perhaps I will have to rethink this business again. If I rescind my word once more on this matter then I will not allow myself to pursue it again; the more I consider it, the more I believe that this isn’t really an option. Altgen’s current course is untenable, and despite the lack of a need for a shitposting channel, having one on hand is indisputably desirable for its own reasons. It may be that altgen is a lost cause in this regard, and that attempting to return it to its original purpose is a M I S G U I D E D effort in its entirety.
It has been suggested that we attempt to make a new shitposting channel entirely, or rebrand #botspam-radio into the new designated shitpost channel. Making new channels is kind of a gross option at this point considering how many we already have—server bloat is a real problem right now. With this in mind, repurposing #botspam-radio seems like a pretty decent option. It’s not like the channel sees much activity as it is now; it’s relegated purely to bot functions and the occasional spammer. It could honestly benefit from strict heavy shitposting. Maybe this will be a good course of action to look into.
Aside from this, there were a couple of other things I’d like to comment on. I’ve described Wade briefly in the past as a figure of some infamy in the Homestuck subreddit and Discord communities. After a falling out with Makin, he left for the HVSD and then eventually left them too. I have no idea what he was doing for the duration of time between then and now, but today he came back onto the HSD to shill some nonsense he’s writing, a lengthy dissertation about a dog character Dookie from a bad cartoon called Johnny Test.
This dissertation isn’t even written yet, he was simply gauging interest for when he finishes it and seeing who might want to read it. This was hilarious to us, and because of how easily people recognize his name, a lengthy and rather entertaining discussion easily followed. It was quite fascinating to watch; I have no prior experience with Wade and I’m not terribly familiar with him, so seeing everyone interact with him was like stumbling onto a font of history new to me.
He made various comments alluding to mass hate between himself and others in the past; I’m not sure how genuine these comments were, I get the impression that he’s kind of a jokester in his own way. As it is, I think that he may have resolved to come back onto the HSD more often to talk to people. Perhaps we will see more of him in the future—I get the impression that he would definitely be a welcome addition to the fold. It will be interesting to see what the future holds for his involvement, if any.
Speaking of people possibly returning, I had a lengthy discussion with WoC today about the nature of his estrangement. He has made some rather agitating assumptions that factored into his decision to leave the HSD, chief among them being his perception of Makin’s position towards him and the #gaming channel. This, coupled with an intense revulsion towards people beating so many dead horses in regard to the stories WoC has told in the past, have been the deciding factors of his self-imposed exile.
With this in mind, I’ve been talking to him on and off about Makin’s attitude. WoC has been under the impression that Makin hates him, and has it out for both him and #gaming. I have always maintained that this was not only inaccurate, but rather boneheaded. Nonetheless, WoC is of that particular brand of stubbornness where nothing may change his mind once he has set it to whatever he feels is appropriate. I was only barely able to affect his stance on this today, by comparing him to the very person he has been perceiving inaccurately for the last so many months.
WoC’s complaints were primarily that Makin never steps foot in #gaming and that he is often insulting, both of which he takes personally. I had to explain that Makin almost never leaves mspa-lit, and indeed he insults everyone, often just for fun or as a way to keep things impersonal. After describing exactly what it is Makin does (or at least how I see it), WoC had this moment of clarity where he realized he and Makin do the same exact nonsense with other people, and that it is truly not a targeted or malicious slight towards WoC in particular. After this, he seemed to be processing the idea and decided to rest on it.
This realization is amusing to me for various reasons, but in the end I’m just glad I was able to shed some light on the matter. It’s not often that you can get through to people like WoC, not because they’re dumb but because they are steadfast in their beliefs. It is fortunate that I was able to affect some change for once, which is all I can really ask for. I’m not allowing myself to hope for this, but perhaps this newfound knowledge will influence him to finally come and take his spot back in the HSD. He seemed ambivalent towards this idea when I departed, but who can say what the future holds? This is an exciting development even if nothing more comes out of it.
Nothing more for today.
23rd of December
Today the dam seems to have completely burst, although in a far more amusing manner than I would have expected. I would like it to be on record that I was fine with peacefully and cautiously moving forward on the altgen situation, but then Makin stepped in. That last part should be all you need to predict what happened, really. It was quite a flurry of nonsense even for our standards.
I’m honestly a little embarrassed to say that I didn’t see it coming. At one point earlier today I mentioned that the journal is approaching another release soon, which is usually enough to invite comments on it or suggestions. However, Makin asked: “drew what are you even writing about anymore / this is a boring time of peace / maybe I should target someone way above our weight class”. Somehow this did not trip any alarms in my mind; I considered it a more or less innocent joke, and described some of the recent events we’ve experienced in brief, in particular altgen. Makin’s tone was light and unassuming, and the conversation proceeded rather amicably from this point on.
After a certain point I had to leave—the holiday season is a busy one for me and my family. I spent a few hours flitting around, unable to even check up on the HSD. I’m not even sure that I thought of it even once in the intervening period; it was rather blissful in a way. Eventually, I gained a spare moment to myself and decided to see what was going on there. The altgen situation was weighing a bit on my mind and I wanted to see if the mood had improved at all since yesterday.
How foolish I was; I returned to nothing short of utter pandemonium. The scene at play in altgen was so profoundly outrageous that I failed even to be shocked, instead I was simply confused. People were screaming in fear, women called loudly for their lost children—I felt like I was witnessing the end of days. In seriousness, the first thing I saw was multiple calls for people to leave and form their own server; it seemed as if the members of the altgen community had finally had enough. After wondering what could have facilitated this, I noticed a completely new channel: #altaltgen.
The ramifications of this were initially lost on me, and to be honest I still don’t understand how exactly people reacted to it, given that I wasn’t around for the channels creation. After some review, it may be that some people left simply because of us reinstating shitpost status to altgen, which is more what I expected. Perhaps the combination of these factors was the proverbial straw, but in any case my confusion gave way to slight annoyance and amusement (a very interesting combination of emotions, I might add).
It seemed as if, true to the original spirit of altgen, people were simply fucking around as thoroughly as possible, which was very nice to see. I’ve noticed that Makin’s presence tends to foment this, through whatever curious forces surround him. It may be that his personality is more conducive to that sort of atmosphere, or that his position as creator of the server leads to more spirited japery than usual. Perhaps it is both; whatever the case, altgen had successfully been whipped into nothing short of a frenzy, and I will be the first to admit that it was a welcome change in routine.
At this point, some weird twist of fate led to a development that I don’t think was even remotely possible to foresee: an individual I have described before, Maxmikester, started a little tit for tat with Makin and it led to one of the most elegant smackdowns I have ever seen in an online chatroom. I exaggerate of course, but given the state of contrition that altgen was experiencing it was actually quite satisfying to witness in real time.
Maxmikester is an exceedingly strange individual, both awkward and existing in an oxymoronic state of confrontational and non-confrontational. He is infamous for an especially pronounced and apparently genuine attraction to one of the characters in Homestuck, which is a level of eccentricity that strains belief even for us. This habit is one of many that people have come to recognize from Max—it would be less worthy of note, I think, except for the fact that they claim to be of a relatively high age on the server, the same as my own. This discrepancy between their claimed age and their level of maturity leads to some interesting confrontations, and I’ve spent a few occasions trying to speak with him about some judgments or opinions that frankly disturb me. I’ve actually grown to suspect that he is outright lying about his age to improve the appearance of his validity.
But, I digress. Today, Max began an attempt to criticize Makin while the latter was performing his song and dance; Makin subsequently shut Max down in short form, saying: “don't you have a fictional 16 year old as a waifu? just saying”. Altgen collectively lost its fucking mind with this response—Max was totally and completely destroyed, and as his loosely scattered molecules attempted to rebut he was picked apart even further by the rest of altgen. It was nothing short of a bloodbath; if I were a better Samaritan I would have felt compelled to report this murder to the police.
But then, the magnificent turned into the strange: for some absolutely unknown reason, people began to side with Max. It may be there was some catalyst and I simply missed it, but the conversation seemed to flip instantaneously from everyone trashing on Max to everyone proclaiming him their “new king”, their “savior”, among other lofty terms. It was honestly one of the more bizarre things I’ve witnessed just from how sudden the turnaround was.
Max, for his part, kept trying to insist that he had the ability to “bring Makin to justice”. Everything else aside this did pique my curiosity at least somewhat, so I tried to inquire as to what method he had at his disposal that would swiftly topple our current power structure. Upon further questioning it was revealed to me that Max’s threat manifested in the form of him tweeting at Discord devs, saying that Makin was acting out of line and being a bully.
After laughing raucously at this for a while I took my leave. Believe it or not this is actually the second (or perhaps third!) time that such a threat has been issued, although I don’t recall if it took this exact form. Whatever the case it has never been a substantial or useful method for getting results out of Makin, and I’m honestly a little surprised that Max wasn’t banned for it. Such is the life of an unwitting fool I suppose, if one may pardon the use of the expression. (Edit as of 2/16/18: Maxmikester posted this image in altgen earlier today. Max on the left, Makin on the right, and I’m poking in halfway for some reason.)
Outside of this, the existence of #altaltgen has quickly quieted down. I don’t see it lasting much longer than a few days, if even that—once Makin comes back online and notices it’s dead, I imagine it’ll get the axe in short order. Of course, there is undoubtedly a great amount of potential that has yet to be tapped in this new channel. Ironic that I was speaking about the possibility of adding a new channel and I considered it the least likely option to see implementation, even as a meme. Maybe there is some mileage we will get out of it yet.
A final note for today: Minish’s imp-like behavior has only seemed to increase in intensity lately. I’m not sure what’s going on with him, and it’s gotten bad enough that it’s elicited comment from others; this is typically how I recognize that a problem has truly grown into something that must be handled. His behavior puzzles me: it feels as if he’s attempting to channel Makin’s style of banter, but unfortunately it has been less amusing and more abrasive. In a phrase, it seems as if he’s more than willing to toss shit but is unwilling to take any in turn.
At this point I’m not sure if there’s anything that can even be done aside from talking to him about it. He did mention recently that one of the rules he tries to abide by is to never be upset at people criticizing him in earnest, an assertion that will bring me great comfort if true. Ultimately, I would just like what is best for all involved; perhaps I act out of line with this, but sometimes it feels like I’m one of the few who is both able and willing to handle this sort of thing, time and time again. It is a tiring business, but if at the end of the day I can be said to have helped even one person then I consider it a worthwhile endeavor. Hopefully I can affect some positive change in the future.
Nothing more for today.
25th of December
Christmas has arrived, and among the plethora of different faiths and nationalities that may situate themselves here the spirit of the holidays has entered just about everyone. There are plenty of forms of merriment that have steadfastly made their way into our affairs here, and it seems as if no one is failing to engage in at least a vaguely more positive mood today.
Minish for his part has actually been very charitable. He put out a survey a couple days ago asking if people wanted to receive games, to which myself and three others (Toast, Tori, and Nixlex) responded to. I’m not sure if more responded and it was first come first serve, or if no one else submitted a response. Whatever the case, he gave the four of us four games each, an unprecedented boon. He apparently did this last year as well, although I may be mistaken; whatever the case, his generosity has been extremely heartwarming.
Some channels appear to be untouched by such charades, especially the less active ones, which is to be expected. Instead I see the people typically active in those channels celebrating the holidays in other, more appropriate places; perhaps they wish to maintain a separation between their typical habitat and the more unusual, festive atmosphere. This kind of distinct compartmentalization would definitely be in keeping with what Makin wants in each channel.
Speaking of, even Makin partook in the Christmas spirit a little bit: in #announcements he gave us the gift of silence, promising not to ping everyone for the day—such magnanimity it was. He followed this up by posting a series of keys for Steam games, many of which were memes but some of which were actually good. I think this may have been intended as a reward for people who check announcements even without pings, which if true is amusing to me. Whether as a reward or as an undirected, general display of good cheer, it is a nice sight to see.
Of note, WoC and Nights both came back today. The former had been planning to do so for ages, even without any input from me regarding Makin’s behavior or the nature of peoples interaction with him. He likes to make an event of getting people gifts for Christmas, much like Minish does. In this way he came back, and even after his own bout of merriment he remained to make fun of or talk with people at his leisure. I suspected this might happen, especially in light of our recent conversations, but it manages to make me feel somewhat optimistic nonetheless. Perhaps he’ll decide to stick around, at least until the next foolish thing happens and he decides to leave over that. We’ll see how the cycle plays out this time.
Nights coming back is somewhat more of an event, for reasons that I’m not sure I understand. It may simply be that the “campaign” to get him back has been in the running longer (or in fact exists at all), or maybe it’s that his personality is more appealing to people in general; whatever the case, people seem to be really concerned with having him come back to the HSD. Thus it is that, when he did come back, the chat did nothing but talk with him for a while. It was honestly a very fun conversation, replete with fat huskies and all manner of assorted chubby animals or other silly nonsense.
It may only be temporary, but the mood has been nothing less than infectious. I hope that the good will of the holidays manages to persist for some time; it’s good to see everyone closer together like this, even if only for a little while. Nothing more for today.
28th of December
A few days after Christmas, it seems as if things have more or less returned to normal. After a quick perusal of each channel it seems as if everyone has resumed their typical posting tendencies, which is fine. There is some residual kindness that shows if you look at the right times, which is nice to see. I’m quite pleased with the lack of destruction or chaos—the end of the year is a calm and gentle time, and we need a rest before we enter 2018 with the manic fury that it undoubtedly deserves.
I’ve noted that WoC remains, and peeks his head in commonly enough that it seems he intends to stay. I think he has finally recognized the truth of what I’ve been saying to him, and he appears more at ease with everything that happens here. It helps that people have been refraining from heckling him excessively about his past like I asked them to; he was very agitated with the idea of dealing with all such comments again. He has no intention of hiding new occurrences, which is good to know as well—the stories are unfailingly funny, and it can lighten the mood no matter how dull a night has been. Here’s to hoping he stays indefinitely.
Nights, however, has indeed left once more. I’m not sure why, but I find myself completely unsurprised. If anything, I’m mildly annoyed that people have made and continue to make such a fuss about it; the reasons for him leaving are mundane and especially uninteresting, and he has spent more time away from the server than on it. At this point, outside of Oceanfalls, I’m not sure why it is that people are so obsessed (a term I use lightly) with getting him back. I felt the need to voice my agitation with this, although no one really responded in an adequate fashion.
It’s worth saying at this point that I feel Nights is a great individual, worthy of respect and consideration. It’s just that I don’t feel as if this borderline deification is appropriate, and people foisting more attention on him after basically nothing has happened with him in HSD for months feels very strange to me. I imagine that it feels weird to him too, but I couldn’t say for sure. I consider Nights a good friend and his creativity is inspiring, but it seems clear that he either cannot or is not willing to come back to the HSD on a permanent basis. The sooner that people accept this, the easier it will be for everyone; regardless, I continue to be disgruntled about how people are behaving over this matter.
Also of note, Makin changed #altaltgen to #shitpost. I suppose this feels like the most diplomatic way to resolve the issue of where shitposting goes, which is fine. Channel bloat continues to grow in severity, but I guess there isn’t much to be done about that for now. For reasons I can’t really explain or don’t even understand, I feel kind of upset by this decision. It’s honestly a very irrational feeling, and I’m going to have to do some thinking to understand why it is exactly that I feel this way. More on this later when I feel I understand it better.
As a tie in to this topic, TS has decided to quit being a janitor and indeed has left the server entirely. This felt quite sudden to me, and it concerned me enough that I tried to ask if anything was amiss. TS assured me that everything was fine and that they were simply tired of the HSD, which is something that I can sympathize with. I thus decided to leave it alone, although circumstances have played out in such a way that I can’t help but feel that there’s more to this, although I’m not really at liberty to explain those things here. I can’t personally do anything more, so I’m forced to remain hands-off, and indeed there may be nothing I can ever do about it. It is truly frustrating to be unable to help at all, but sometimes you have to recognize that you’re helpless to do anything and move on. Such is the case here unfortunately.
On another note entirely, Makin was analyzing the activity of the HSD a bit today. According to him, it seems that the HSD in its entirety sees about 14,000 messages generated on a daily basis, mspa-lit and altgen each producing 4,000. I feel kind of surprised by the message spread, but at the same time it’s not surprising at all somehow; altgen especially is an absolutely ridiculous source of activity, and then mspa-lit is where most “regulars” are localized. The rest of the messages appear to be spread piecemeal among the other channels, but especially in #general and #social. Places like #coding-tech receive far less messages per day, less than a hundred if any at all most of the time.
When you think about it, 14,000 messages per day is an incredible amount of activity. I can’t say that I know much about the statistics involved with communities of our size, but it definitely sounds impressive to a layman. For us it’s about 1.5 messages per user per day, but of course all of that activity is coming from a select group of individuals who talk every day. I wonder what it would be like if all nearly 10,000 people talked as much as we do. It would surely be chaos—the thought fills me with some slight anxiety, but also a distinct excitement.
Nothing more for today.
31st of December
It is quiet tonight. I’m barely here myself, and I imagine that it’s much the same for everyone else. The new year is coming, and it is time for family or to reflect on ourselves. There are still some people here, chatting occasionally. Many times people stop in to say “Happy New Year!”, especially at the point that is appropriate for their timezone. It’s not a sad or upsetting quiet, but a peaceful one.
The world turns and we along with it. The year has gone by, and we prepare for a new one. Time marches on as always, and it’s our job to march with it. With the friends we’ve made and the place we’re building together, who knows what the HSD will look like another year from now? How will we appear? Stronger than ever, I hope. I am beyond happy with all the people I’ve met and become acquainted with—people I am proud to call friends. They give me life and motivation to keep going forward.
I owe more than I could possibly say to the kindness and patience of everyone I’ve talked to in the HSD for the last year. I look forward to seeing where we go from here, and I hope that those of you reading this—and even those unable to read it—feel the same. Here’s to the future: Happy New Year.
Makin
1 the answer was no
2 he is ignoring every criticism thrown at him and blindly hoping vast error will get big against all odds, he will get hurt when it doesn't happen
3 gross